In the same way that it is impossible to become assertive just by reading a book on the subject – you have to practise assertion skills – it is also impossible to appear assertive with the tensed muscles and pounding heart associated with stress. Your body language will give you away. Whatever words you choose to say, however ‘assertive’ they might be, if delivered with the wrong tone of voice, too much or too little volume, or accompanied by inappropriate facial expression and posture, your assertiveness will be ineffective. You will be perceived as apprehensive, emotional, hostile or aggressive by the other person.
Let’s face it, while most of us would like to be assertive most of the time, the occasions where ...
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