The key to compatibility is flexibility. Rigid behavior in your relationships is the enemy What causes problems is the inability to operate effectively outside your preferences for Inclusion, Control, and Openness when circumstances call for a different range of behavior.
Your preferred levels of inclusion, Control, and Openness are not the key to compatibility. Flexibility in your behaviors is the key. Rigidity in your relationship behavior is the enemy!
THE ROLE OF SELF-ESTEEM
People’s feelings drive their behavior. More precisely, their feelings and beliefs about their own significance, competence, and likability will foster either flexibility or rigidity in their Inclusion, Control, and Openness behavior. ...