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The Rules of Love, 2nd Edition by Richard Templar

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RULE 9

You can’t change people

Suppose you’re naturally tidy. I mean really neurotically tidy. Can’t stand to leave the washing up for later and always put away everything immediately after use. And imagine you ended up with a partner who liked to spread their possessions about and actually only felt comfortable with clutter. Would you become a messy person to keep them happy? Then why would you expect them to become tidy?

If you’re not actually tidy you might be wondering what the problem would be, but if you’re one of nature’s tidy people you’ll probably be thinking that would be a struggle, and an unreasonable request. And you’d be right.

The fact is that you can’t ask people to change, and even if they wanted to they couldn’t do it. Sure, ...

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