O'Reilly logo

The Rules of Love, 2nd Edition by Richard Templar

Stay ahead with the world's most comprehensive technology and business learning platform.

With Safari, you learn the way you learn best. Get unlimited access to videos, live online training, learning paths, books, tutorials, and more.

Start Free Trial

No credit card required

RULE 65

Don’t be a martyr

It’s so easy to do, isn’t it? I know, because I can be a dreadful martyr if I don’t keep myself in check. It’s just so satisfying to feel all that righteous indignation flowing through your veins. There’s just one problem though.

You can’t let anyone know you’re being a martyr, not even your partner whose benefit it was all for. If anyone finds out that you’re quietly and uncomplainingly suffering, it doesn’t count. And that’s no fun is it? Being a martyr requires someone to witness it.

So why can’t you let anyone know? I’ll tell you. Because if you let people find out, you’re not actually being a martyr at all, are you? A martyr is someone who suffers in silence without complaint, but if you really did that no one ...

With Safari, you learn the way you learn best. Get unlimited access to videos, live online training, learning paths, books, interactive tutorials, and more.

Start Free Trial

No credit card required