RULE 55

Listen to what they’re not saying

Why don’t we always just say what we mean? Get to the point and explain what it is we want to get across? I don’t know why – it would make life a lot easier if we did. But we often skirt around the real issue, or avoid saying something we know might sound silly or petty or embarrassing, or that might upset or hurt the person we’re talking to.

Your partner sometimes does this when they’re talking to you. They’ll start a light conversation about that upcoming party you’d jointly decided to miss to see how you’ll react, when actually they’re shilly-shallying around some important underlying issue which is really bothering them. They say they’d quite like to go after all, but instead of explaining the real ...

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