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Managing Expectations: Working with People Who Want More, Better, Faster, Sooner, NOW! by Gerald M. Weinberg, Naomi Karten

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4. Listen Persuasively

When listeners listen, talkers talk

When I was a twelve-year-old at summer camp, two of my bunkmates disliked each other. One, I considered a friend; the other, I didn’t care for. At the end of the summer, each girl came to me and thanked me for taking her side. This surprised me. I didn’t recall spending much time listening to either of them, and certainly not to the one I disliked. Yet their appreciation showed me that people’s perception that you are listening can lead them to feel comfortable with you and to open up to you. Years later, I realized that this experience marked the unofficial start of my consulting career.

This chapter’s guideline is about how to improve two overlapping skills: listening and showing that ...

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