Brilliant Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, 2nd Edition

Thinking error 8: emotive language

Words are powerful things, and certain words have an emotional resonance that can colour our thinking – often in unhelpful ways. We can describe events to ourselves in terms that can either inflame our reactions or calm them down.

If I tell myself, ‘That man despises everything I stand for,’ rather than, ‘We don’t always see eye to eye’ I will instantly feel on the defensive next time we meet. If I say to myself that a situation was ‘utterly humiliating’ as opposed to ‘briefly uncomfortable’ I will be making strenuous efforts to avoid similar situations in future – even if such protective manoeuvres are entirely unnecessary. My language has effectively raised the stakes.

Emotive language is one of the main reasons ...