The Elements of Negotiation

ELEMENT 64Pacing, Rapport, and Lead

Think back to a time when you and another person saw completely eye to eye about something and were completely in tune with one another. This may have been a friend, a colleague, a member of your family, or someone you met by chance. Cast your mind back and work out what it was that gave rise to those feelings of absolute concord and unanimity.

Perhaps the reason for this was identical thoughts, or you had the same views of a book, a film, or a play. Perhaps you did not notice this, but you are bound to have had identical breathing patterns, body language, and manner of speaking. No matter what it was, the thing you experienced was something called rapport. This is called being “in rapport.” What is rapport? Rapport is a harmonious, empathetic, or sympathetic relationship or connection between two people. Rapport means identifying the ability to perceive the world as another person. In other words, it means communicating on the same channel as another and thereby being better at communicating with that person.

You Have a Choice

You can consciously choose to establish rapport. The activity of establishing rapport is called matching.

Rapport is the ultimate tool for producing results with other people, no matter whether they are individuals or groups. The ability to establish rapport is one of the most important talents any human being can have in life. You can achieve amazing results by utilizing rapport.

Rapport can be the mediator in ...