The Elements of Negotiation

ELEMENT 67Emotional Intelligence: The Foundation for Effective Negotiation

Humans are all illogical! We do not use logic to decide, or for that matter, to think. Unfortunately, all our decisions come from emotions. Emotional intelligence guru Daniel Goleman explains that our brain's decision-making center is directly connected with emotions, and then with logic. Therefore, as any good salesperson will tell you, we decide with emotions and justify (we deceive ourselves) with logic.

Emotional intelligence is the foundation of human manipulation. High levels of emotional intelligence will lead to more successful negotiations and success. Emotional intelligence is not a fixed size but a mix of core changeable beliefs, attitudes, and competencies.

If you are emotionally intelligent, you:

• Possess a high level of self-awareness (how you affect others)
• Are sensitive to the needs and emotional states of others
• Know how to become aware of your emotions and control them in a healthy way
• Can handle setbacks and mistakes in a positive, constructive manner
• Can control stress and other destructive symptoms of negative emotions
• Possess a high level of personal power and control over your decisions
• Are goal-oriented and focused
• Are flexible and open to new ideas and changes
• Communicate openly and form strong connections with others
• Are trusted by others
• Have a healthy belief in others, while remembering to protect yourself
• Have a realistic approach to negotiations without being too optimistic ...