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Flip the Funnel: How to Use Existing Customers to Gain New Ones by Joseph Jaffe

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SURVEY SAYS . . .

Let’s start with the simple survey. For no other reason than the fact this appeared in my e-mail in-box, I’d like to single out Hertz Rental Cars as my test subject and deconstruct this colossal waste of my time. Please find my colorful commentary in caps.
Ref: Rental Record 169257082
As a valued customer MY NAME IS JOSEPH JAFFE. WOULDN’T YOU KNOW THIS ALREADY, CONSIDERING I’M A “VALUED” CUSTOMER?, we would appreciate your taking a moment to complete this brief Customer Satisfaction Survey regarding your recent rental at Dallas-Ft Worth AP. Your comments will help us gauge how well we performed on your rental and will enable us to enhance your rental service.
CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC AND/OR PROVIDE EXAMPLES OF HOW PREVIOUS CUSTOMERS HAVE HELPED ENHANCE THEIR SERVICE? HOW ABOUT PROMISING TO FOLLOW UP WITH ME ON EXACTLY HOW MY FEEDBACK HELPED LEAD TO ENHANCED SERVICE FOR ME?
If you have already completed this survey by calling the telephone number, or accessing the website noted on your rental receipt, we thank you. ER, SHOULDN’T YOU KNOW THIS ALREADY? BESIDES, DO YOU REALLY THINK I WAS MOTIVATED OR THAT BORED TO READ THROUGH MY RENTAL RECEIPT?
 
Use the following link to complete the Customer Satisfaction Survey: www.yaddayaddayadda.com.
 
Please do not reply to this email since such responses are not reviewed. THAT’S JUST GREAT. YOU CAN E-MAIL ME AND INTRUDE IN MY INBOX, BUT I CAN’T CONTACT YOU DIRECTLY. AND WHY ON THIS EARTH WOULD YOU NOT BE REVIEWING ...

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