Lifescripts, 3rd Edition

66Apologizing to a Direct Report for Your Own Behavior

STRATEGY

In apologizing to a direct report, you are in essence turning the tables on the power dynamic that exists between the two of you. A dicey proposition, you can use it to your advantage by demonstrating that you're not too big to admit when you've made a mistake. You also want to be clear about what you're apologizing for; you may have had every right to be angry with a direct report for something they did or failed to do, but now regret the severity of your tirade.

TACTICS

• Attitude: Show honest contrition and a willingness to admit your mistake. But don't blur the distinction between supervisor and direct report. Don't grovel.
• Preparation: Before meeting with the individual, make sure you've calmed down sufficiently and composed yourself adequately. Go over this script in your head; know what you want to say. Go to their office and tell them you want a moment of their time.
• Timing: Ideally you want to have this conversation on the same day the behavior occurred. You also want enough time to elapse so that you've had opportunity to cool down and the individual has recovered from the blow. But you don't want to wait too long; feelings will just fester. Getting on top of this quickly will be appreciated by the aggrieved.

  

• Behavior: Be firm, confident, and relaxed. Be prepared for some anger and resistance, and don't ...