Lifescripts, 3rd Edition

67Apologizing to a Direct Report for Unintended Gender Insensitivity

STRATEGY

Gender issues are among the most rapidly evolving matters in the workplace. What was an acceptable comment or phrase yesterday may be considered insensitive today. And today's workplace can include individuals from four generations, so different staffers could have different sensitivities and thresholds for being offended. Your sensitivities, even as a manager, don't matter. What counts are the perceptions of your direct reports. Apologies aren't matters of losing face, they're sound management tools. Every effective workplace apology must include a clear “I'm sorry” statement, an expression of regret, an acknowledgement that norms were violated, and an expression of empathy. Consider offering some form of recompense, but don't bend over too far backward. As a supervisor your sincere apology and a modest form of reparation is sufficient. Don't even try to offer an explanation: it will only weaken your apology. Instead repeat the apology, even if it isn't accepted.

TACTICS

• Attitude: Sincerity is vital. You're not apologizing for their perceptions, you're apologizing for your statements or actions. Accept that you may need to apologize more than once during the conversation and that there's no explanation that will excuse the comments or actions.

  

• Preparation: Delivering a fulsome apology isn't simple ...