Straight to Yes: Asking with Confidence and Getting What You Want

CHAPTER 3

Consistency

One of the most instinctual drives I observe in others and myself is the drive to justify our choices, thoughts and actions. Even when there’s no one else around, the wee Gremlin in the back of our mind urges us to justify what we did and why we did it.

Often this happens beyond conscious awareness. We do it to maintain a “positive, consistent self-perception.” In other words, if we consistently doubted ourselves, our motives and our behaviour, we’d lack self-esteem and confidence, thus lowering our chances of surviving and attracting a mate.

Inconsistency, or “flakiness,” is generally seen in any society as a flaw. For example, reneging on a deal or saying one thing and doing another. In influence, this concept of consistency ...