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Straight to Yes: Asking with Confidence and Getting What You Want by Haider Imam

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CHAPTER 17

Some Asks to Avoid

There are definitely certain Asks that I’d like to suggest you avoid like the proverbial plague, since they’ll do your results and your relationships no favours. They’ll feel attractive and powerful to you as the person making the demand but from the receiver’s perspective, reactance will be in full swing. Even if they comply, you’re damaging your relationship with them and the potential long-term value you can create together.

1. Emotional Blackmail

Have you ever heard someone say, “If you loved me, you would,” or “If you truly were part of this team, you would,” or “If you were a kind person, you would,” as a device to get their way with you, against your will? It’s a trump card and a difficult one to come back ...

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