In the practice of helping, personalizing emphasizes “internalizing” those experiences that make us “person-like.” In other words, we become human as we internalize our understanding of ourselves. In short, we “grow” ourselves as we “know” ourselves. In this context, personalizing is the heart of helping.


Personalizing is the most difficult interpersonal skill to learn and apply. It threatens us because we are put “on the line.” We feel scared because we cannot change until we have put ourselves “on the line.” We feel disappointed in ourselves because we cannot personalize our understanding ...

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