The Rules of Love, 3rd Edition

RULE 79

There are no circumstances in which it is ever acceptable to say ‘I told you so’

Like so many Rules in this book, it’s hard to know which section to put this in. But in my experience this phrase gets used most among families, between siblings, by parents to their kids, by in-laws – so it belongs here. But it applies to every relationship you have, from your partner to the most distant acquaintance.

Let me make this quite clear. If you voice the words ‘I told you so’, you have relinquished the moral high ground (see Rule 4 in the Rules of parting). Why? Because you know perfectly well before you say it that you are only doing it in order to make someone feel worse. What’s more, you’re trying to make them feel worse about something that’s ...