The Rules of Love, 3rd Edition

RULE 3

It doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault

It follows from the last Rule that it’s generally no one’s fault when a relationship splits up. That doesn’t mean that no one has behaved badly at any point – even you might have done that – but in the end it was never going to work and one of you just realized it first.

Look, when a relationship falls apart, most of us go through a mass of emotions, none of which are any fun. These can include any selection of regret, anger, hurt, feelings of failure, depression, misery, embarrassment or even shame, frustration, panic – tick as many boxes as you like. So it’s natural to look for someone to blame. And here they are like a sitting duck, your ex, the perfect target.

Bear in mind here that your ex is ...