20

SIDE BY SIDE

Benefit: Lower another person’s guard and move the person from resistance to listening.

A preaching point is not a meeting point.

—MOTHER TERESA, FOUNDER OF THE MISSIONS OF CHARITY IN CALCUTTA

It’s the weekend, and Will and his 15-year-old son, Evan, are driving to the sporting goods store. Evan is hoping to make his school’s archery team, and Will’s taking him to pick out some new arrows.

Evan, uncommunicative as only a teenager can be, taps his foot to the music on his iPod. As they drive, Will talks idly about stuff at home and at work. He throws out some ideas for the family’s upcoming vacation, thinks out loud about grilling some steaks when they get home, and then talks a little about one of his coworkers who’s making ...

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