Coaching with NLP For Dummies®

Rescuing the Other Person

Coaches tend to be very decent people who want the best for others! They may slip inadvertently into the rescuer role in which they take on more than their fair share of the work involved in coaching. Some warning signs of rescuer-mode include:

• At a practical level: You take lots of notes that you then send to the client after the session. You take on actions to contact people on the client's behalf.
• At an emotional level: You find yourself worrying about the client's well-being between sessions. You over-empathise with the client's situation.

Coaching works best when you have a series of mental models to ensure that you remain true to the coach role. Chapter 13 examines Stephen Karpman's Drama Triangle – how you can get caught in a trio of roles known as Rescuer, Victim and Persecutor and how to get out of these unhelpful roles.

The coach who rescues the vulnerable client reduces the client's power so that the client emerges as a victim of circumstances. The script is ‘Poor client, let me help you.’ Also, coaches who take on responsibility for their clients end up switching to Victim or Persecutor mode later on when they've had enough.