Agile Retrospectives, 2nd Edition

No Difficult Conversations

Conflict is often uncomfortable. And since difficult conversations can lead to conflict and conflict can lead to difficult conversations, many people consciously or subconsciously avoid these situations. In fact, since it takes an intentional act to have these conversations, the default option is to avoid them!

But conflict avoidance is rarely the right strategy for people who work together for any meaningful amount of time. Rather than helping to find a resolution, it results in people holding on to their version of the events ever more tightly over time. Instead of bringing people together, it leads to people building evidence that further supports and cements their point of view. And in place of taking responsibility, ...