The Rules of People

RULE 8

Everyone wants to feel valued

Low self-esteem is behind a huge amount of unhappiness and, indeed, mental illness. A lot of behaviour that drives you mad in other people, from bullying to control freakery, can be fed or even caused by poor self-esteem.

The word self-esteem has become used much more frequently in recent years. When I was young, people used a different term to mean the same thing – self-worth. In some ways I prefer the old-fashioned term because its meaning is much more obvious. It’s about seeing yourself as being of value.

This sense of having value is something that everyone needs to be comfortable in their own skin. Some of us struggle with it more than others, and we all have times in our lives when it comes easier ...