The Rules of People

RULE 54

Keep your praise in proportion

You’d think, wouldn’t you, that if praise is a good thing, lots of praise must be an even better thing. Strangely, though, that really isn’t the case. It’s unexpectedly damaging to give people disproportionate praise. This is at its worst with children whose parents are always telling them how clever they are and how fantastic everything they do is. That’s because parents are a huge influence and the child is still developing. But it’s still true when it comes to praising your friends or your team or your family.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t give praise often. Give it as often as it’s due. Just don’t give too much of it. For a start, praising someone beyond what’s due can be patronising, and can also ...