The Rules of People

RULE 16

Confrontation can be scary

There’s almost never any need for outright confrontation. In fact, never at all so long as both of you are behaving like adults.

The trouble is, some people are so anxious about raising the things they are unhappy about that they’d rather leave a problem unresolved. That’s the safe option, isn’t it? At least that way they don’t risk a stand-up argument. They’re afraid that talking about the problem will lead to slammed doors and hurt feelings and horrible atmospheres.

I remember a friend telling me, distraught, about a row over a big family get-together that had really upset her. She’d discovered there were differing opinions about whether everyone should go out for a meal or stay in (no one wanted to cook, ...