THE “HOW” SKILLS
Talk Tentatively
If you look back at the vignettes we’ve shared so far, you’ll note that we were careful to describe both facts and stories in a tentative, or nondogmatic, way. For example, “I was wondering why . . .”
Talking tentatively simply means that we tell our story as a story rather than disguising it as a hard fact. “Perhaps you were unaware . . .” suggests that you’re not absolutely certain. “In my opinion . . .” says you’re sharing an opinion and no more.
When sharing a story, strike a blend between confidence and humility. Share in a way that expresses appropriate confidence in your conclusions while demonstrating that, if called for, you want your conclusions challenged. To do so, change “The fact is” to “In my opinion.” ...
Get Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition, 2nd Edition now with the O’Reilly learning platform.
O’Reilly members experience books, live events, courses curated by job role, and more from O’Reilly and nearly 200 top publishers.
