The Self-Reliant Entrepreneur

April 28Communicating in Silence

The kindness I have longest remembered has been of this sort,—the sort unsaid; so far behind the speaker's lips that almost it already lay in my heart. It did not have far to go to be communicated. The gods cannot misunderstand, man cannot explain. We communicate like the burrows of foxes, in silence and darkness, underground. We are undermined by faith and love.

Henry David Thoreau—Familiar Letters (1865)

Communicating in silence is an art. But saying nothing at all is oftentimes the most potent way to say so very much.

We all know people who do this. They shine so brightly that they give off nothing but kindness and light. A long-time married couple can communicate a chapter of caring with little more than a glance.

But as Thoreau points out, our words, be they filtered only by faith and love, can undermine.

What we underestimate in terms of communication is just how little our words matters.

In his essay titled “Social Aims,” Emerson has this to add: “Don't say things. What you are stands over you the while, and thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary.”

So, there's that.

Communicating in silence is mostly about who you are or who you are being at that moment.

Challenge Question

1. Are there any places where your words and actions are not aligned?