The Self-Reliant Entrepreneur

October 2Done Growing

Lord, when shall we be done growing? As long as we have anything more to do, we have done nothing … Lord, when shall we be done changing? Ah! it's a long stage, and no inn in sight, and night coming, and the body cold.

Herman Melville—Letter to Nathaniel Hawthorne, published in Memories of Hawthorne by Rose Hawthorne Lathrop (1897)

Here's another question to ponder: when shall we start growing? Melville admitted in an earlier letter to Hawthorne that “Until I was twenty-five I had no growth at all. From my twenty-fifth year I date my life.”

Growth requires change, change is hard, and so growth is hard.

Stop growing and life stagnates, but as Melville seems to express, it's exhausting at times—mainly because growth doesn't happen by hoping or even setting audacious goals. It happens when you admit where you are now and accept all the chapters in your past without regret.

From this lucid place you can chart your growth.

Wouldn't it be awesome if we got a cake and celebrated each step in our personal growth, you know, instead of simply acknowledging we lived another year?

Admit we don't know it all—cake, realize we don't have to react—cake, decide to leave a toxic job—cake, hug more, forgive sooner—cake, learn how to listen to and support team members—cake, admit, without blame, that our parents' shortcomings don't define us—cake.

Maybe those are our real “birth” days?

Challenge Question

1. Do you tend to focus on the positive or negative traits of others? ...