The Self-Reliant Entrepreneur

November 10Expanding Force

The objection to conforming to usages that have become dead to you is that it scatters your force. It loses your time and blurs the impression of your character.

Ralph Waldo Emerson—Self-Reliance (1841)

There's a quote that shows up in a lot of success writing attributed to author Jim Rohn that goes like this: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Sure, there's some truth in this—until the advice concludes that you must hang around only with people who support, inspire, and validate you.

There's little doubt that our deepest relationships often form with people who believe many of the same things as we do. But to wrap yourself in a bubble of those who think, look, and act like you is to limit who you can become.

We need to interact with people who will help us broaden our views, introduce us to new things, and most of all challenge our well-held beliefs.

We don't need to change our beliefs, but we do need to constantly question why we believe the things we do.

Emerson refers to the idea of “scattering our force.” Yes, fighting back, trying to convince others, becoming emotionally invested in our point of view, will scatter our force. But accepting, learning, and seeking to understand those whose opinion differs from yours is how you expand your force.

In the Japanese grappling martial art of Aikido there is said to be no winner or loser—the goal is for all to have a successful ending. Even in defending themselves ...