Giving E ective Feedback
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• Soften his defensive posture with phrases that
show him that he’s being heard, such as “I hear
what you’re telling me” or “That’s an impor-
tant perspective.” In addition, note points of
agreement between you to establish common
ground. Comments like “You and I are on the
same page about that” help to convey that you
want to work with—rather than against—the
other person.
• Remain composed. Speak slowly, calmly, and
clearly. Avoid phrasing that might be inter-
preted as judgmental. For example, “Can you
help me understand that point a bit better?” is
much less confrontational than “I have no idea
what you mean.”
• Redirect his focus away from the point of dis-
sension. Work on building small agreements
about basic ...